Forward Motion

Hush, little blogger....

When it feels like life is just getting to be tooooo much altogether for me, I want to sleep.  It's my brain's go-to defense for stress.  Wwhen I'm feeling crazy, it's like I HAVE to go lay down right now or I'm going to fall over.  If I can't get a nap during the day, then I find myself completely unable to get out of bed in the morning.  I don't mean feeling like "Wow, I wish I could stay in bed a little longer."  I mean I physically feel as though I am pinned to the sheets by invisible sandbags.  If only I had time for all this sleep my body is insisting on, but there's just too much going on.  And so I feel more and more sleepy.  This last week or two, I'm heading toward full out narcolepsy.

We are down to the last few days now before DH leaves.  He came home from work last week and told me that his departure date had been moved up by 8 days.  In some ways, both of us were glad.  The waiting has been rough, not unlike ripping a bandage off really slowly.  But we'd planned to have an early Christmas celebration on the 13th and now he was going to be quite gone by then.

So he and the kids put up the Christmas tree and hung the ornaments while I tried to decide figure out what was in all the boxes in the garage that needed to be wrapped and opened before he left.  We had our pre-Christmas on Friday with mostly DH opening gifts and a few for the kids to open.  I already knew what he was getting me (a TV for the bedroom upstairs) but I made him let me "open" it.  And by open it, I mean pull off the sheet he covered it with.  Apparently there's another gift for me from him, but it hasn't arrived yet.  I'm pretty sure I know what it is (since I sent him the link for it with a subject heading of I WANT THIS), but I'm still excited.

Logistically, I think we're ready.  All last week we took care of paperwork, like getting our tourist passports applied for and figuring out the dog's papers for traveling next summer, if I end up bringing her.  He's done just about everything around the house that needed doing, except for mowing the grass because it just won't dry up long enough.  It's needed mowing since October, so what's another few months.  I'm feeling like I can pretty much handle stuff for the next year.

Emotionally, well...most of the time I'm fine because I am NOT thinking about it.  When I accidentally think about it, I have a mantra of phrases I use to keep myself from cracking up.

- It's going to be fine.  You're going to be fine.  He's going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine.

-The year is going to go by fast.  By the time he returns, we'll only have 18 months left overseas.

-I'll be able to talk to him.  They've got phones and internet and it's not like our other deployments where I wouldn't hear from him for weeks and weeks.

-He's just going to work.  Not a big deal. 

The kids will probably be my undoing though.  They aren't into denial and I doubt it's healthy for me to squash their feelings for my sake.  There are going to be tears and probably lots of comfort food and treats and relaxing of some rules.  It's entirely possible that someone will find me buried under empty Poptart wrappers while my kids stare glassy-eyes at yet more episodes of The Simpsons.

I could sure use a nap.

Santa is ahead of schedule.

So this morning (Saturday), I did my customary weekend lay in bed because now my children are old enough to get their own breakfast thing.  Only till 9 though, because I had a lot of cleaning and laundry to do today.  I'd spent all day Wednesday and Thursday with Liz, first helping her get ready for Thanksgiving and then eating all of her amazing food. (Remind me to tell you more about Liz sometime. She's like Martha Stewart on steroids with ADD when it comes to all things domestic.)

Friday I cannot really tell you what I did other than troll the internet scooping up bargains.  Like I really need to do anymore internet ordering.  On Wednesday I had 8 packages to pick up at the mailroom and Friday there were 8 more.  My office looks like the Amazon warehouse exploded and I had to start wrapping gifts because I ran out of hiding places.

Anyway...this morning.  This post is jumping around because of two things: I am SO excited and my fingers are cold.  Because this morning when I took down the first of many loads of laundry, I stepped into a lake in the laundry room.  The floor was covered in water and it was out into the hall.  The clothes that had been hanging next to the hot water heater to dry were wet in a way that told me something had gone ker-spody last night.

DH came down to assess the damage and I told him while he was welcome to clean up the mess, I wanted to handle the problem as a dry run for the next year when he's gone and I have to handle everything alone.  So I called the housing emergency number (after bothering some guy at the fire department which I don't even know why I had that number in my phone, but I think it may bode well to save it) and they called my landlord who called the water heater technician.

He came out a few hours later and opened up the water heater door.  Need I mention he spoke no English?  If you've been reading this blog for the last few months, you should have expected that.  But I'm getting much better at understanding Italian, although my speaking is still weak.  After only a moment he said what I interpreted as "This thing is too old. I ain't fixing it."

After translation assistance from housing, we verified that yes, we were getting a new hot water heater, but not until Monday.  And yikes, no hot water until then.  I cannot TELL you how happy this makes me.  Yes, it's a pain to deal with more repairmen, but I'm getting a new hot water heater!!  One of the more miserable parts of living in Italy for me has been the lack of enough hot water in the shower.  I get maybe 4 minutes before it gives out.  We've all gotten very good at showering quickly and economizing our bathing actions to get done before the water gets cold.  When I shave my legs, I have to turn the water off and stand there wet and shivering while I hurriedly shave, then turn it back on to rinse.

I'm soooo hoping that this new hot water heater will give me just a few more minutes of hot water.  I mean, it's new.  It almost HAS to better, right?  DH thinks we might get more water pressure out of it, too.  Hey, that would just be a bonus.  I've gotten used to showering in what amounts to little more than a trickle of water.  I just want that trickle to stay hot longer.  One of my guilty pleasures is relaxing in a steamy, hot shower until I'm redder than a boiled lobster.

Now, I'm not even kidding here.  A few months ago on Twitter I had written: "Dear Santa.  Please bring me a bigger hot water heater for Christmas."  I believe, y'all.  Now I believe.

Since our hot water heater provides the water to heat the radiators, our house also has no heat now.  No hot water, no heat.  Thankfully the housing office has made arrangements for us to move into the hotel on post until it's fixed.  So I'm definitely getting a long hot shower for the next 2 nights!

Goodbye, water heater!  May your demise bring me long, hot showers next week. 

Sunlight and Gloom

It's been a lot more wet, gray, gloomy weather.

The constant dreariness had me contemplating slitting my wrists with a spork, but then this morning the sun appeared!  Not very strongly, but there were actual shadows being made, so that qualifies as sunny right now. YAY!!!

I hauled all the stuff I wanted to take photos of out and grabbed the camera and....could not find the battery.  The battery that was dead last time the sun shown and I wanted to take photos.  The battery that I charged so I'd be ready.  The battery that I took out of the transformer because it was fully charged and put it WHERE??  I've been looking all day and I cannot find it.  It's driving me insane.

I reluctantly grabbed the old Kodak and took a few shots anyway, just as the AAs in that one were dying.  My batteries all seem to be conspiring against me. 

The Sundara yarn that I had used on the fatally boring Shifting Sands scarf worked much better as a Just Enough Ruffles scarf.

 

This knit up ridiculously quickly, right up until that ruffle.  By then the stitches have tripled and it takes the better part of day to get through a row.  But it was a great project for traveling and really only took me about a week of car and sightseeing knitting.  I had to break into the second skein of Sundara for the last 2/3 of the bind off.

It's not a very long scarf, which is perfect since all the other scarves I've knit tend to get tangled in my knees because I've made them so long.  I'm so not a ruffly person, so this is about the max ruffliness I can handle.  I love how it looks like a flower when it's wound up.

 

More than the weather is gloomy around here.  This week a huge batch of troops left for deployment.  The kids reported one of their friends in tears at school and there's a general air of misery among my crowd.  DH is still here for a few more weeks and I have caught myself wishing that he would go already and stop dragging this out.  And then I feel horrid and terrible for thinking that because I treasure every day that he's here.  He took the kids skiing last week and we're going to be able to have an early Christmas before he goes.

But whew...I kind of wish I could just sleep through this next year.  Lay down and close my eyes, tell the kids to watch TV for a bit, and wake up to find that the deployment is over.  Also, that I've lost 15 lbs and my nails are really pretty. 

Nothing but a few random things

- I really have stuff to blog about, but I want to include photos.  And every day has been so gray and gloomy.  It's the kind of weather that just makes you want to curl up under the covers all day.  It's lousy photo taking weather too.  We had a bit of sun a few days ago, but when I grabbed the camera, the batteries were dead.  It's all charged up now just waiting for this gloom to clear.

- Grace has informed me that in public school PE, they warm up before each class to this song that's really annoying.  "It's called 'Achy-Breaky Heart'.  Have you ever heard of it, Mom?"  I thought one of the points of public school fitness classes was to teach the kids that exercise was enjoyable.  Maybe they're supposed to run away as fast as they can till they can no longer hear the song.

- Dh was originally supposed to leave for the deployment on Monday, the 16th.  I was kind of freaking out a little bit Sunday evening, imagining how it will be that last night before he goes.  I was teary eyed and clutching him all through the night.  This is the kind of mental joyride that is so not helpful.  Our plan is to act as though he's just going to work.  No long goodbyes, no big deal.  I'm a big believer in denial. 

- I'm knitting gloves.  My hands have been so cold.  I want to start a new sweater, but for some reason, all the patterns in my queue don't seem right.

- I have ordered so much stuff online I can't remember half of it.  I think I might be almost done with Christmas shopping, other than a few stocking gifts.  I'm not one of those people who buys all their gifts early.  I almost never have anything before December.  That's not an option now that I have to mail things overseas and because we're going to attempt to have an early mini-Christmas with DH before he goes.

- We walked to a bakery around the corner this morning.  They had doughnuts!  Almost like American doughnuts.  More bread-y, but still really good.  And the lady at the counter spoke some English.  It' was a wonderful little adventure all around.

 - From the library I got Weeds, Season 1 on DVD.  I've been wanting to watch this show, but we've never had Showtime. It's pretty good and in half the episodes there's knitting!  No one ever has any finished objects that I've seen, though.  The last episode on the DVD is messed up and it's driving me crazy not knowing how the season ends.  I've already ordered Season 2.

Neuschwanstein

 
Day 2 of the birthday trip to Germany!  On Saturday we took a tour organized by the hotel to the Neuschwanstein Castle.  We had to be ready to depart at 7:30, which is much earlier than I prefer to begin my vacation days, but thankfully Diet Coke (the real stuff, not Coca Cola Light) was available. 

On the way, we stopped at a woodcarver's store.  There were some gorgeous nativities and Christmas items, but the only thing I bought was not wooden:

He needs a better scarf.  I'm envisioning a whole wardrobe of scarves knit from my sock yarn scraps.

Our next stop was at The Church in the Meadow, a beautiful, rococo style church.  Here's a blurry photo:

 

I would have liked to have taken better photos and looked around more, but as you may be able to tell, there was a service in progress.  I was very uncomfortable snapping photos and gawking at statues while people were trying to worship.  It seemed so rude and intrusive that we left immediately.  Outside were several touristy gift shops and a little restaurant that was frying up a German version of doughnuts.  It was grey and quite cold and the doughnuts were perfectly delicious and made a fine impromptu birthday cake.

Then it was onward to the castle.  One of my friends on post had warned me that it was a steep walk up to the castle, so I told the family to be prepared.  I really like to hike and I was looking forward to the walk.  Horse and buggies were available (for a fee, of course) to take people up, which meant that the paved road was strewn with the inevitable result of horses.

Here we are pretending to pose for a photo op at a waterfall, but really we are catching our breath:

Once we reached the castle, we had some time before our tour began for admiring the view and taking more pictures.

 I'm not so sure how impressed I was with the castle.  It seems huge, but because the king died before it was finished, a lot of it is not open for viewing.  I wish it had been a self-guided tour, because I didn't get to look very long at some of the most interesting rooms, like the bedchamber.  I was particularly disappointed that no photos were allowed inside the castle due to copyright.  Hmpf.  Still it was a castle and a very cool one!  I'd really like to visit more castle, especially older ones.  Neuschwanstein is one of the "youngest" castles and I want to see some of the really old ones that served as more than just fancy showplaces.

From the window of Neuschwantstein, I took a photo of the Yellow Castle (not the official name) that descendants of the royal family still live it.

Grace wasn't exactly sick, but not feeling 100% that weekend, so I gave her a break didn't make her hike back down.

 

This was without a doubt, one of the best and most memorable birthdays ever!  When I saw the hang gliders drifting through the air all weekend, I told DH, "Maybe I'll do that for my 40th!"  But no.  I don't think so.  I'm getting older, not insane.

Up. Way up.

 
I had a great 39th birthday.  From now on, I want to take trips for my birthday instead of getting presents.  It was more fun sharing 4 days with the family than having a gift from them just for me.

Poor DH got sent up to Germany again at the beginning of the week and got back Wednesday just to turn around and drive back up there on Thurday.  Fortunately, getting to the Edelweiss Hotel in Garmisch was only a 3 1/2 hour drive and the scenery along the way was amazing.  The leaves were changing and there was snow on the mountain peaks.

When we made the hotel reservations, I thought it was kind of expensive for a military resort hotel.  (Not that it was that pricey, just that I am cheap.)  It was definitely worth the cost, though.  The rooms were nice, there was a nice big pool and and even nicer outdoor hot tub.  It was a shock to hear everyone there speak English after hearing Italian everywhere for months.

On Friday, we had planned to take a tour of a cheese making place and a monastery brewing thing.  I don't really know, I just picked the tour that didn't start too early.  But that tour was cancelled because not enough people signed up.  I was fine with that, I figured we would sleep in,then bum around Garmisch for a bit, and later take a swim and relax.

But when I was wandering around the lobby after breakfast, I found information sheets for lots of different things to do nearby.  When I saw the one for the Zugspitz, the highest peak in Germany, I thought, "We can't come here and not see that!"  Tickets were sold there at the hotel and thank goodness I didn't know how much it would cost.  When the cashier said, "$150, please." I nearly choked.  DH just shrugged and handed over the credit card.

I'm glad I didn't know about the cost because I doubt I would have spent that just to go up a mountain and look at the view.  Little did I know:

SO worth it.

 
We took a cogwheel train up the mountain.  Cogwheel sounded kind of old and rickety to me, but it was really just like any other train.  We spent a long, long time in a tunnel, most of the 30 minute ride was tunnel, I think.  We got off the train at the ski area, which is where I'm standing in the above photo.  The slopes had just opened that week.  Then there was a short ride up to the summit on a cable car.  I am generally not fond of vehicles that are suspended from wires, but the car was big enough that I didn't notice any swaying or other fear inducing movements.

It was a perfect day to visit the Zugspitz.  Sunny and clear, but not too bitterly cold.  Having lived in Georgia and Texas for the last 5 years, we really do not own proper winter clothing.  My hand knits finally were useful!

Here are the Anatolian Mittens admiring the peaks.  Somewhere in that direction is France. The older I get, the less I like heights, but the Zugspitz did not bother me at all.  The viewing platforms are very large and there is a beer garden and a restaurant up there.  I avoided leaning over the rails, of course.  I did get a bit woozy just watching this guy:

 

We had noticed the thin strap that was set up from the platform to the peak when we arrived, but didn't realize what it was for.  Later, we went to see what the small crowd was looking at and here's this guy walking across barefoot.  He is tethered to the strap, but good grief.

Here's Alex at the top:

 
 
 And Grace:

Next post - the castle.  I'm kind of tired tonight since yesterday we drove 5 hours up to Germany and 5 hours back again.  All in one day and just for yarn.  Oh, but it was Wollmeise yarn.
 

Last post from 38

This is the beginning of a Shifting Sands scarf that I started a week or two ago.  I had a sudden urge to both make something to wrap around my neck and also to use some of my Sundara yarn.  This is the sport weight merino in the color Hummingbird Green and since I had 2 skeins of it, I thought I could go nuts on a scarf.

Except I've only knit, what, 5 1/2 inches here and I'm already sick of the pattern.  I could get all Zen with the pattern and just calmly keep going for another 4 feet or so, but it's not even showing up all that well with the dark green.  And the end is curling so much that I don't think even blocking and/or fringe will undo it.

We're driving 5 hours to the Edelweiss Lodge in Garmisch, Germany tomorrow for my birthday mini-vacation and why is it always before a road trip I suddenly have nothing good to knit?  I'm ready for the heels of my Wollmeise socks and that means math which maybe doesn't go so well with traveling.  And then this scarf that is not meant to be.  I guess the trip will be a good time to rip it out and maybe turn it into a Just Enough Ruffles scarf.

I have some tentative good news that I can't really share because of, you know, military stuff.  But let's just say DH's to do list got a little longer since he may have more time to work on it.  Not a whole lot more time, but even a little is good.  And the next time I blog, I'll be 39.  Egads, how did I get to THAT age??  Probably when I started saying stuff like "egads". 

Descent into Decadence

I cannot even tell you how many times in the last 2 days I have made a noise that sounds something like "Ohmmmaaaaawwhooaaaammmmm!!!!" and then grabbed my new best friend here, Liz, and made her try whatever was making me sound like that.  That may sound dirty, but we are talking wine and chocolate here.

Yesterday, Liz and I took the kids downtown for the chocolate festival.  We weren't sure if going Friday afternoon, the first hour it was open, would be a good thing.  But it was perfect.  Few crowds, lots of attention from the vendors, frequent free samples, and we left before the rain began.  I spent a ridiculous amount of Euro on chocolate.  I would show you it, but much of it is for gifts of people who occasionally read here.  Besides, you'd just want to taste it and I don't have the technology for that.

Today Liz and I went to the craft bazaar on post.  There were some very lovely Italian items like ceramics and furniture and jewelry, but I only bought wine and cheese and a little more chocolate.  The cheese is from Holland and I had no idea that cheese could taste THAT good.  It makes even the good cheese from the grocery store taste like styrofoam.  There were many oher things that I really wanted but my wallet was already empty and crying in agony.

After all the cheese, chocolate, and alcohol (and chocolate alcohol too, for that matter), I am going to be at the mercy of Jillian Michaels this week.  She's going to be able to tell, even from inside that DVD, that I need major punishment.

Next week - birthday trip to Germany!!
 

Happy Ending

From looking at the calendar, I knew this week was going to be crazy.  I have to go on post for one reason or another every single day.  Yesterday was Tuesday and it began with a trip to our town's weekly market.  It's not very big, maybe 12 tents of produce, fish, cheese, and things like clothes and shoes and curtains.  I've been buying nearly all of our produce there, mostly fruit.  Because the kids needed to get going on their schoolwork and it was chilly, I left them at home and went alone.

I came home and we finished our schoolwork, did laundry, had lunch, etc. and got ready to leave for post around 2 p.m.  One of the kids noticed the driveway gate was open, but all of us figured the other kid had already opened it for me minutes before.  As soon as we got to post, I realized I had forgotten my cell phone.  Grrrrrr...I hate it when I do that!  I pay all this money for a fancy phone and what good does it do me sitting on my desk at home?

The kids were going to the Youth Center to hang out and I figured they could call DH if they needed something.  I had an appointment to go out to the gas and water company with an Italian speaking housing representative at 2:30, so I had to get that done.  (Finally, we have our utilities all transferred to our name now.)  I returned from that to post around 4 and DH & I had to attend a pre-deployment briefing at 6. 

Not having my phone was driving me nuts.  DH's phone has been very unreliable, but we had not wanted to spend any money to replace it since he's leaving so soon.  Much as I hated to use the gas, I decide to drive home and get the phone.  When I came home, Josie, the dog, didn't come to the door all excited to see me.  This happened one other time and I found her hiding under Grace's bed, scared or stuck or just having Chihuahua issues.

I searched the house, looking under and around and everywhere, trying to figure out where she could be hiding.  I started worrying that maybe we had left her outside when we went to post and someone had stolen her.  I called the kids and asked them if they remembered if the dog had been in the house when we left.  Both of them said they couldn't remember, but hey, Mom, remember how the gate was open.

I had that horrid moment of certainty when I knew what went wrong.  I almost never go anywhere by myself; the kids are always with me.  Alex usually has the task of opening and closing the driveway gate.  I just suddenly knew when I had come home from the market that morning, I had never closed the gate behind me.  Josie had probably gone outside mid-morning and we never noticed that she failed to scratch at the door to come back in.  She'd been gone all day.

It was awful, but there wasn't much I could do.  I called her and called her, but I figured she'd trotted far away by then.  As the city bus came roaring by our house at top speed, I didn't even want to think about what might have happened to her.  And I had to get back to post for the meeting.  I took a few minutes to make signs with her photo on them that said in Italian:  "The dog is missing.  She is small and brown and black.  She has a pink collar." and my phone number.  I put one on the front gate and one on the driveway gate and left for post again, scanning the streets for her as I drove.

Pre-deployment briefing meetings are hardly enjoyable, being as boring as they are depressing.  The kids knew by now what had happened and were distraught.  We came home around 8 and DH drove around more looking for her.  She has tags, but unfortunately, they still have DH's Georgia cell phone number on them.  Grace was in tears at bedtime, as Josie usually snuggles up with her all night.  I hoped that someone had found Josie and she was at least warm and safe.  It was all very bad.

At about 9:15, the stupid dogs next door started up their barking.  There are several people who live in those apartments and any time any of them arrive home, the dogs bark.  DH couldn't help but go outside and look to see what the racket was about and imagine my astonishment to hear him say, "JOSIE????"

A young Italian man was coming down the street to our house with Josie on a makeshift leash.  I don't think he was expecting a crying blond woman to come running over to hug him and babble "Grazie!  Grazie!" over and over.  I was so relieved and overcome that I didn't think to ask him where or when he found her.  I think he saw my signs or maybe had seen her in our yard to know where she lived.  He was so incredibly nice and I had to force him to take the 20 Euro that I gave him.

There was much happiness and tears and amazement that Josie was home.  It could have turned out so horribly.  As much as I complain about the dog, she is a wonderful little pet and I love her.  She was clearly very tired and hungry.  We gave her some leftover beef stew as a treat and she gladly curled up with Grace and went to sleep.  I'm not sure if she got into some garbage, if the man fed her something, or if just from stress, but she has been puking and having stomach problems all day today. 

 
Needless to say, I will never forget to close that gate again.

Italian Ice

I'm so cold.  It's been getting down to 38 degrees or so at night and the house is like an icebox.  We can't figure out how to turn the radiators on, either.   By poking at the remote control for the AC units, we found we could switch from a "snowflake" setting to a "sunshine" setting and get some warm air to come out.  That makes it just warm enough upstairs to sleep, although getting out from under the covers in the morning is unpleasant.  Well, more unpleasant than usual.  I still have to get past my inital thought every morning of "How did I end up here?"

We pretty much have spent the day wearing multiple layers and huddling under blankets, accomplishing nothing more than an A-Team DVD marathon and many games of Scramble.  After contacting housing yesterday, who contacted our landlord, someone is supposed to come out sometime (this is how Italians work and let me tell you, it is making me all kinds of crazy) to fix it or maybe just help us turn it on.

There is now less than a month before my husband leaves for a year.  I hate having that clock ticking in the back of my brain at all times.  I'm putting a lot of mental energy into not thinking about it, but of course that means I'm probably going to have some sort of spectacular breakdown in the post office when I can't get an envelope open or something.  I'm very much looking forward to our mini-vacation up to Germany for 4 days at the end of the month. 

Sadly, we are going up on the ONE weekend this fall that the Wollmeise store will not be open.  It's only a 5-6 hour trip from here and I think I may zip up there the first weekend in November.  I really want some Wollmeise lace and worsted.  I had a friend visit me last weekend and I pulled out a bunch of my yarn to show her and I realized that having it in the basement was not working for me.  It's too dark there and I can't easily get to it.  So I hauled most of the sock yarn into the garage/office where I can now fondle and admire it endlessly. 

I'm also getting a weird urge to take up weaving.  I need another hobby like I need more plugs in the outlet by my desk (it looks like a safety awareness ad of how to overload a circuit).  But all I would need is the loom thingy, right?  I've got tons of yarn.  I'm smitten by photos of woven projects I've seen.  At first I thought, how many woven rectangle items could I possibly use, but now who cares?  They're gorgeous.  This is possibly an indication of my need for a distraction, much as how I suddenly decided to strip and refinish our bedroom furniture when DH was in Iraq.

Now, if only my fingers would warm up enough to knit.