Forward Motion

D is for...

...Diet Cherry Coke.

Coffee is gross.  Even the smell makes me ill.  But I don't judge you java junkies.  Because my first sip of Diet Cherry Coke in the morning is a quick little trip to bliss.  Why, Coca-Cola, why did you stop selling this beautiful elixir in the 2 liter size?  Cans are the only way I can find it over the last few years.  For a while, I quit drinking soda altogether in protest, but I just couldn't stay away.

Grace started wilting last night and I discovered she had a 103 fever.  She's taken up residence on the sofa today and the Tylenol isn't doing her much good.  I've also got that achy, sniffly feeling, so I wouldn't be surprised if it hits me next.  Alex is so pumped up with antibiotics from last week's wound that he's probably safe.

The realtor came back yesterday and we talked dollars and cents.  I suppose for only having lived here for 4 years and with the market/economy/alignment of the planets what it is right now, we'll do alright.  But wouldn't it have been great if he'd really surprised us with a big fat figure that would have coasted us right into financial freedom?  Anyhow, the sign is supposed to go in the yard on March 14th.  I honestly have no idea how we'll be ready.  The to-do list is staggering.

In the few minutes I've been able to grab for knitting, I've mosly been working on what I'm calling the Once Upon a Dream socks:
   

Quickly, before the paint fumes overcome me.

Which is worse?  Going for too long without posting or doing a post just to say that you aren't posting?

Either way, I desperately would love to blog, but for so many reasons I cannot.  DH is home for a few weeks and he's painted our bathroom and ready to begin on our bedroom.  Which completely upends my life.  Our bedroom is my knitting headquarters.  While he was at Home Depot this morning, I quickly pulled out the swift and wound a ball of the Dream in Color Classy so I could start swatching for my sweater.  I've managed to begin a pair of Wollmeise socks in a pink so bright, you'd swear you were looking at the inside of your eyeballs after a rough night.

I can't photograph anything because it's gray and gloomy and well, there's the whole "DH is working hard and it seems like a bad idea to ask him to stop so I can get blog material."

Soon, though.  He's going to have to go back to Home Depot at some point.  It's like the mothership for him.  He can't be away too long or he begins to malfunction.

And I looked good in camouflage, too.

Tammy left a comment saying that she didn't realize that I had been in the army.  Have I really not mentioned that in a while?  I remember detailing one of the many indignities I suffered for Uncle Sam, but that was quite a while ago.

So did you know?

I've been out now for more than twice as long as I was in and really, it seems like a whole different lifetime.  I did like not having to choose what to wear every day.  That was a nice benefit.

The knitting progress is all pretty boring.  It turns out that 2 skeins of Swish DK will not make a pair of socks for this 12 yr. old boy.  I'm using some stripes and stranded motifs in another color of Swish so that they hopefully won't be footies.  Grace's top down sweater experiment (Which I just realized that I don't think I've mentioned.  Probably because I'm totally winging it.) is only a few rows from being joined to work in the round.  The 3rd Noro sock is at the cuff.  I've been swatching a new pattern I want to try for socks, but I can't find just the right yarn for it. 

Obviously still dizzy from Monday, I joined The Loopy Ewe's Dream in Color sweater Knit A Long and ordered a pattern and bunch of DC Classy.  The plan is to make a sweater by June using DC Classy and TLE is giving a discount on the yarn.  Here's the Ravelry discussion.  I'm planning to make the Knitting Pure & Simple Split Neck Tee:

I want to make the neckline a little more open and lower, so I'm puzzling over the instructions to figure out where to modify.  I've ordered DC Chinatown Apple and I'm really hoping it shows up in tomorrow's mail.

Finally, the realtor came by yesterday for our first meeting.  There is nothing like a realtor walking through your house to make you realize what a craphole you live in.  Good grief, I dread the prospect of getting this house immaculate and buyer-ready.  As soon as he left, DH went and rented a storage shed and I'm going to be boxing stuff up and throwing stuff away this weekend.  I've got some stuff for sale on my Ravelry stash page, if you'd like to help out the cause.  I only have a few more weeks with my messy knitting table.  My whole yarn corner is going to be dismantled and I'll have to actually tidy up my projects instead of just dumping them on the table mid-row.  I think that's going to be the hardest thing to deal with.

BYOF (Bring Your Own Fork)

All of your comments regarding my fainting made me feel much better.  Like a big group hug.  Thanks.  Even though I know it's not something that I could control, it still felt awful.  I told my mother about it and she went on at length about the many, many times she's passed out.  So I blame genetics.

One of my more impressive fainting episodes happened when I was joining the Army.  I went to the MEPS station where you begin your morning in the middle of the night and got started with the physical.  When they tried to draw blood, they had trouble finding a vein.  Apparently I have small, jumpy, difficult veins.  They stuck me twice without success and gave me a ball to squeeze vigorously.  At the third stick, I passed out.  Apparently I was squeezing the ball so hard that my body was all tense and I was kind of convulsing.  They laid me on a cot and took my glasses off.  I have terrible eyesight, so when I came to, everything was very blurry and fuzzy and there was a bright, bright light overhead.  I honestly thought I'd gone to heaven.  Then I heard voices demanding to know if I had epilepsy, which I figured God should already know. 

Anyhow, we're all fine.  DH took Alex to the follow up appointment and has been in charge of wound care.  Other than being irritated at not being allowed to jump on the trampoline for a few days, Alex has no major discomfort.

Grace thanks you for all the birthday wishes.  Would you like some birthday cake?  We have plenty.  I'm sure by the time you get here, there will still be plenty. 

Last week, Grace ordered her cake from the Publix bakery.  It was some kind of cake that looked like stacked presents that she'd seen there before.  Not until after I'd already done all the ordering details did I realize that this cake was no $25 quarter-sheet cake.  My girl, who gets her expensive taste from me, had picked a $55 cake.  Yeah, I heard you gasp.  If I'd known that at the get-go, I would have insisted on the cheaper Hello Kitty cake.  I'm more than happy to pay someone else to bake birthday cakes, but there is a limit.  But the ordering was done and I just knew Grace would tell DH, who would get all sappy and say, "Oh, let her have the cake."

Yesterday, when we went to pick up the cake, the woman at the bakery frowned and said, "Umm, there was a problem with your order.  I kind of messed it up."  Grace and I were worried.  She went on,  "Well, I've never done that cake before and I made it too big."  Then she went into the back and brought it out.  In a box that would hold a small television.  The kind of box they use for multi-layer wedding cakes.  "Also," the bakery lady said, "Since it's not right, I gave you a discount on the price."

Would you look at that thing?  It's a 1/2 sheet cake, topped by a 1/4 sheet cake, topped by a 1/8 sheet cake, topped by a plastic box that is a photo frame.  All chocolate cake - chocolate cake with a middle frosting layer, mind you - covered in buttercream frosting.  We've eaten cake for two days, I've sent a huge hunk to the neighbors, I froze two large freezer containers of cake, and there is still 1/2 that bottom layer left.

If you can't make it for cake, send insulin.  And bigger jeans.

A day to remember. Unfortunately.

Today was the most embarrassing day of my adult life.  After I woke up from my most necessary nap this afternoon, I debated whether or not I was going to blog about.  For a while, I thought I'd just try to erase it from my memory, but then I figured, why not share it with the world?  Perhaps public acknowledgment make it seem not so bad and will ease the humiliation.  Perhaps I'll delete it tomorrow in shame.

So Friday evening, Alex shows me this thing on his lower leg.  It looks like a bite maybe or a thorn that is stuck.  It was quite red and volcano-looking.  We watched it over the weekend and by this morning it had gotten bigger and redder and he claimed great pain no matter how gently I touched it.  It was definitely infected and anyone who's seen House knows that infections can lead to all kinds of crazy stuff. 

As an aside, tomorrow is Grace's 10th birthday.  Remember last year?  February 20th.  Alex breaks his arm in 2 places the day after her birthday.  What is is with this kid needing medical care around Grace's birthday?  I swear, I'm going to swathe him in bubble wrap next year from the 12th to the 26th.

DH was going to take him to the ER because of course, our clinic was closed for the holiday.  This morning, we had a sleepy discussion and somehow we decided I would take him.  I think I may have suggested it, thinking that at least I'd get plenty of knitting done.  Let's call that mistake #1.

The ER wasn't too crowded, thankfully.  I started the heels on Alex's socks and the gussets on the 3rd Noro sock.  We were seen in under 2 hours, which is pretty good for a minor wound.  The doctor took one look and said they'd need to drain and clean it.  She swiped it with that sterile brown stuff and told Alex she'd be back in a few minutes with the Lidocaine shot.  Mistake #2.  If she hadn't told him that, if she'd just had the shot ready and done it, things wouldn't have escalated. 

It took her about 5 minutes to return with the needle and the tray of torture instruments.  By that time, Alex - who hasn't had a shot since he was about 5 - had gotten all worked up over the prospect of a needle.  I tried telling him it wouldn't be that bad, just a pinch, anything I could think of that wasn't an outright lie.  He was pale and teary and tense.  She gave him the shot, which he handled well, and then left again for the numbness to set in.  It seemed like he was calming down and amusing himself by seeing what sections of his leg were numb.

When she returned and began working on his leg, I sat in the corner knitting and tried very hard not to look at what she was doing.  Even still, I could tell that she was being really aggressive cleaning and digging and poking around.  Alex wasn't happy and I thought he was in pain, but he told me later it was just uncomfortable and he was more anxious than anything.  Then he suddenly asked for water.  Urgently.  "Water!  Please get me water!"

This doctor, from what I could tell, didn't want to remove her gloves, so she had me get up and get out a cup.  I gave him a little water and I could tell he was not doing well.  Being of a weak constitution myself, I knew the signs.  He sat up and began to lose it.  He was holding back heaves while the doctor was trying to tell me where to find a basin for him.  Perhaps I'm being overly critical, but she wasn't doing us much good at that point.  I found him a basin and stood by him while he threw up.  I wasn't looking, just rubbing his back and telling him it was okay.  I have no future in any sort of medical profession.  I am aware of my limitations. 

All too aware, in fact.  Suddenly I felt a great rush of blood in my head.  I know exactly what that means.  The walls began to close in as I sat down and leaned forward and sternly told myself that I was NOT going to faint.  I took deep breaths and then I was having this very strange, elaborate dream that I had fainted.  And the tile floor was feeling very hard against my cheek.  Alex reported later, "I heard the chair scrape the floor and then I couldn't see you sitting there anymore."

Yes, some help I am.  Bring my kid to the ER and then become a patient myself.  I faint easily, but it's been years since the last time.  And that was when the doctors were cutting on me, so it seemed more reasonable.  I felt terrible that my son needed me and I couldn't even remain conscious. 

Somebody picked me up and put me back in the chair, then they wheeled me to another room with a bed I could lay on.  Covered in a cold sweat while I slowly shriveled and expired from the embarrassment of hearing them all discuss the event in the hallway.  The consensus was that ours was not a family of very sturdy stock.

By the time I was steady again, Alex's wound was packed, the culture was sent away to check for MRSA, and our prescriptions were waiting at the pharmacy.  I just wanted to get out of there.  He is fine, a bit sore, of course. He's got to return tomorrow to get the dressing changed.  DH will be handling that visit.

Random Blog Post #26

- One of the authors of the Two Black Sheep blog mentioned the other day that she didn't really like the latest Interweave Knits Spring magazine, but she felt like the only one who thought that way.  I've looked through my copy of the magazine several times and I can't find one thing that I want to knit.  I'm not a fan of short sleeve cardigans anyway, and this issue seems to be overflowing with them.  If I'm cold enough to put a sweater on, I probably want it to be more substantial than these.  I could look at a few of the patterns and see that they were pretty, but they definitely weren't for me.  I felt too old for a lot of them, which is kind of ridiculous, since most of the time I forget I'm not in my 20s anymore.

- Our newspaper's Opinion page is unfortunately, a concise snapshot of many of the people and attitudes in this town.  There's a section called "Sound Off" for people to anonymously leave a short rant or comment.  There's always a few that make no sense at all to me or are clearly knee-jerk responses that regurgitate a party lines. 

Last week, there were a few letters to the editor about Barack Obama's middle name.  These people were completely agitated at the thought of a future president with the middle name "Hussein".  Like because his middle name is Hussein, his cousins are all waiting in a sleeper cell in Waukegan for him to get elected, and then we'll all be wearing scarves on our heads and chanting the Koran.  Seriously, his parents gave him that name.  He has no control over it and it should have NOTHING to do with his qualifications for the presidency.  Besides, if these people were truly concerned about the names of our public figures, shouldn't they be more worked up over our VP named Dick?

- Put on your party socks because Angela & I are headed back to Atlanta for another Yarn Harlot appearance!  She's coming to Knitch in April and I'm so excited. 

- A third Noro sock is in progress.  I've worn my original pair Noro socks twice now and that little math error in the heel really makes a difference in the fit.  The right sock is too loose in the cuff and feels like it's falling down. 

The Knitting Accident Scene Investigation team has concluded that when I was calculating the number of stitches to work the heel flap, I forgot to subtract 8.  Instead I made the increases and turned the heel using the original number of heel stitches, which gave me too many stitches on the back of the cuff.  I could tell the cuff was bigger than the foot after I bound off, but I didn't think it would matter.  Luckily, I love making Noro stripes and I have plenty of yarn left.  I also get the chance to make sure I don't have any blechy intermingling black stripes on this sock.

- Does anyone else notice that sometimes one of your projects has been un-favorited?  I had 44 people that favorited my Cut & Paste Socks and now there are only 42.  I know sometimes I favorite a project because there are project notes that I want to refer back to.  So maybe if I don't want to make that project anymore, I'll un-favorite it.  I wonder why others favorite and un-favorite things.  Also, I now have 48 people that have favorited my Noro socks, which I find startling for something that was just an experiment. 

A Happy VD to everyone!

Hope everyone has eaten a few of those candy hearts for me.  I haven't bought any this year because I find them hopelessly addicting and will eat my way through a bag in 45 minutes.

Here's a handy little guide from the people at Shoebox Blog to help you interpret any Valentine's gifts you receive this year.

What Do These Valentine Gifts Tell You About the Gift Giver?

Candy: Someone wants to have sex with you! Teddy Bear: Someone wants to have sex with you! Lingerie: Someone wants to have sex with you! Dinner at a fancy restaurant: Someone wants to have sex with you! Tickets to a show: Someone wants to have sex with you! If you’re reading this right now: Someone wants to have sex with you! Got it?

C is for...

....Charts.

I've had the hardest time trying to think of a "C" topic for the ABC Along.  Every time I'd consider it, I'd get that Cookie Monster song in my head, "C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me." and then I'd want cookies.  Turns out all I needed to do was take a look at my knitting table.

I bought those two skeins of Dream in Color Smoosh yarn last week, one in Ruby River and one in Buttercream, and I put them in my special open bin next to my bed.  It's where I put all the sock yarn that I'm currently enamored of.  Not that I don't love other yarns, but I don't have room to display them all, so most are under the bed or in a drawer.  I've been looking at this burgundy and cream next to each other and thinking they really are asking to be a two-color sock of some sort.  I had the barest idea of a pattern in my head and I searched Ravelry, searched Google images, but couldn't find anything like the picture in my head.

I realized again, I didn't need to look that far.  Only in my hallway.

My mom made this.  I found it a few years ago jammed in the back of her spare room closet.  I loved it immediately and begged to have it.  I guess she wasn't that fond of it and was probably going to give it to Goodwill.  In our last house, it was the absolute perfect size to cover the ugly fuse box that graced our entranceway.  This needlework type is called Spanish Blackwork and this pattern came from the Anchor Book of European Needlework.  I don't know why I have my mom's copy of the book, but I do.  As I was searching the internet, I suddenly remembered and looked at the bookshelf next to me and grabbed the book.

It's full of fabulous projects.  Amazing, but I don't get the same enjoyment from needlework like I do from knitting.  Still, I love the way it looks. 

I wanted to try and turn these patterns into something I could knit. Out came the graph paper and the pencil and the frustration.  I'm not an artist and I lack whatever spacial thinking is required to adapt these charts.

Even though the embroidery charts and knitting charts both use squares, they don't use them the same way.  At all.  I wasn't expecting to be able to recreate the exact patterns, but I can't get it to look even similar.  I've come up with some interesting stuff, even knit a swatch.

   

No, no, no.  Not working at all.  It looks like crosshairs.  Hey, maybe C is for crosshairs.

So I work on other projects, with the Anchor book open on my table and graph paper with failed charts scattered around.  Every day I think, "What if I tried it this way..." and I grab the pencil and paper again.  I think I'm getting closer, but for now, I guess the Dream in Color will continue to stare at me from the bin.

A Double Shot of FOs

For the moment, the only project I have on the needles is a pair of DK weight socks for Alex.  He really loves his Opal Frog socks, but he pretty much just wears them around the house.  That's fine, but I'm not suffering through size 0 needles with 84 stitches again if he's not even going to put on shoes over his socks.  Especially at the rate that kid's feet are growing.  He's 12 and wearing a men's size 10.  This time I'm using Knit Picks Swish Superwash DK and only 56 stitches and it feels like they are practically knitting themselves at that gauge. 

Why only one project on the needles, though?  Because I finished not one, but two projects yesterday.

First, just in time for our 70 degree weather, the Anatolian mittens.

Details.  I has them.

Pattern:  Anatolian Mittens from Folk Mittens

Yarn:  Brown Sheep Nature Spun Wool.  Colors aren't quite right in this photo, they are really more teal blue and camel brown.

Needles:  Size 3

I'd had the second mitten nearly done for a while, but I couldn't work up the patience to deal with the top decreases, the thumb, and the grafting.  This weekend, I finished off that second mitten and went back and fixed the too-pointy top of the first mitten.  A few things I learned on these, my first pair of mittens.  #1 - These would have been very simple to knit top down.  I'll try that next time.  #2 - My gauge is tighter than it needs to be and the mittens just barely fit my hand.  Size 4 needles would have been best.  #3 - If I think the colorwork chart is wrong, it probably is.  Just because I couldn't find any published errata doesn't mean I'm crazy.  Now that I've made mittens, I'm going to try gloves.

Second, the October Socks.

Details.  For what it's worth.

Pattern:  Slip Stitch Rib from Sensational Knitted Socks

Yarn:  Bambewe from Zen String, colorway October.  They are much browner than they appear in the photo.  Like a package of ground beef that should have been cooked two days ago.

Needles: Size 1, 2.25mm

Method:  Toe-up, heel flap, Magic Loop, one at a dang time.

These socks and I need a little time away from each other.  It's nobody's fault, I'm just so tired of looking at them.  I cast the first one on in September and they were to be my traveling project, the project I stick in my purse and work on here and there.  The pattern is not interesting enough to keep my attention, but not mindless enough to just zone out on.  These socks are exactly the reason why I like to knit two-at-a-time socks.  They are at least an inch shorter than I prefer and I thought it would be interesting to use the stitch pattern on the heel flap, but I don't really like it.  They are soft and cozy, though.  Maybe after a trial separation we can work things out.    

Saturday

Saturday and the kids are supposed to be cleaning their rooms.  They tidy up every evening, but when we did the painting last fall, we were horrified by what we found when we moved the furniture.  Just like I did when I was a kid, instead of tidying up when they were supposed to, they were just hiding and camouflaging the mess.  So now on Saturday, rooms are deep cleaned and there's no TV, computer, Wii, or other fun stuff till Mom says it's good enough.  This plan seems to be working pretty well.  At least I know that at one point in the week, the rooms were clean and it's less likely that I'll find a mess that gives me one of those conniption fits where my head spins around and I shriek like a mythological creature. 

They don't seem to be in any hurry to get it done today though.  Alex is listening to an audio book while cleaning underneath the bed and I haven't seen any movement in a while.  Every time Grace emerges from her room, she's got a different hairstyle, so I don't know how much progress is being made on the cleaning.  They took a break for lunch and Saturday is also ramen noodle day.  They'd eat ramen everyday if I let them and probably waste away from malnutrition, so I had to restrict it to once a week.

This morning, I'm mostly folding laundry while the iPod shuffles, singing nasally to Billy Joel and Guns & Roses.  I set up my new paper shredder for work and began shredding the 2006 files.  It's loud though, so I can't put up with it for too long.  It's such a beautiful, sunny day outside, I was thinking of taking the whole thing outside to shred.  The noise wouldn't be so bad and I could enjoy the sight of DH playing working with the tractor.

I did have something very important to take care of at noon, though.  Other sock yarn addicts know of the famed Wollmeise.  Deep, gorgeous colors, plentiful yardage, but nearly impossible to acquire.  Today was her shop update and I was ready.  Although I missed out on two of the colors I wanted, I still managed to buy 6 skeins.  The yarn sells out so quickly that I tried to overfill my cart in the hopes of getting anything.  Each time I clicked "Checkout", a skein would vanish from my cart, and I'd have to go back and check out again, so I'm thrilled that I succeeded at getting so many. 

They aren't all for me, though.  Angela and I are sharing the order.  It's a good thing, because I felt a little guilty when I went on the Ravelry Wollmeise board and saw so many people weren't able to get any yarn.  If I'd bought all 6 for myself, I'd have felt like quite the wool pig.  We each were able to get 2 colors that we wanted, then I picked 2 more to try out. 

I started a new sock this week.  Claudia Hand Painted sport and Louet Gems sport in a mosaic pattern:

I'm not feeling it.  I picked the two yarns partly because they were identical in weight.  The Claudia is way too orangey and combined with the blue, it looks like Auburn University colors.  I see way too much of that around here as it is.  Even when I attended Auburn, I didn't wear orange and blue.  I bought the Claudia because of the name, Sloop John B.  My mom loved listening to The Kingston Trio when I was a kid, so nostalgia made me buy the yarn.  But I just cannot knit with orange, so I think this is going to have to go into my Destash pile.  I kind of dig the mosaic pattern though, so I'll try it another time with different yarn.

I lost an hour today to this:

92

My first try I think I got 62.  I finally had to go look at a world map.  I may not sleep tonight unless I can beat 100.

Edited to add:

117

YESSS!!!